Keratoconus: Where Eye Have Been
Hi my blogging friends! This past month I took some time off from writing and many friends have been asking where EYE have been…..
I have an eye disease called Keratoconus. I was diagnosed about 7 years ago.
In Keratoconus, the cornea of the eye (what you see through) becomes too thin. The eye cannot hold its true shape and the vision loss increases over time. The cornea is so thin that surgeries like Lasix are usually not possible.
The thin and changing cornea prevents light to be reflected properly and many resulting vision changes occur such as double vision, starbursts, blurred vision, and impaired vision at night. Without correction, this disease can take away or significantly impair someone’s sight. But with correction, this is a chronic disease that can be managed successfully.
Different seasons of keratoconus require different management, and that is where patience comes in on the part of the person, the vision doctor (optometrist), the eye disease doctor (ophthalmologist), and the family. Some seasons require weekly eye checkups, custom lens fittings, and eye injury management.
The cornea is so thin that it is more vulnerable to eye injury of many forms. One of my eyes was actually injured from the custom lens being used to correct my sight. My eye requires a few more weeks of rest and treatment in hopes that it will fully heal.
So, this is where EYE have been.
If you have read this far into my post, you either also have keratoconus, know someone who does, or you just like to read Either way, I might as well get personal now.
During a day when I was resting my injured eye I was listening to my audio bible and this verse struck me. “Everything comes from God, and exists by his power, and is intended for his glory” (Romans 11:36 NLT). I replayed that verse over several times.
How can God be glorified in the messy, painful, muddy, times of life when it feels like we stand up just long enough to be knocked down again? I have found new peace in the fact that glory does not come from what I can do. It does not come from my abilities. It does not come from the actions I take or even the things I create. Because one day, everything I am able to do – will stop. A pause will come over my life, and the realization of the brevity of life will come into clear focus.
I have seen that pause on the faces of countless hospice patients who are at their final nights of life. I have seen that pause on the faces of children who lay in hospital beds in total peace, literally wanting for nothing- yet knowing they are about to be at rest. If this verse is true, “Everything comes from God, and exists by his power, and is intended for his glory” (Romans 11:36 NLT), then in every single pause of life, there must be a way that I can still see God’s glory.
So that is what I have been trying to do this month. Besides weekly eye visits, I have been looking for God’s glory. I have been letting go of expectations and holding on to faith. I have been surrendering my plans and moving forward in God’s timing. It’s not easy, it’s not fun, it’s not even full of joy in the circumstances – but there still is joy in my faith.
There’s a beach path that I love to walk on with my kids. For miles the beautiful path twists and curves as the scenery around it continues to invite me further into the walk. Just as a bend in the path came up, I could see a purple flowering plant literally changing the way it was growing to face the daily rising sun- and grow. I looked at the flower petals stretching out towards their source of life, and the beauty and meaning of that moment took my breath away. It reminded me of a simple truth.
I have seen that beyond every bend of struggle, has been an amazing opportunity for joy, when I do not give up on the grace of God that has brought me this far. I may not always be able to see 20/20, but even on the hardest day, I have seen enough of God’s love that I know to keep walking on this path.
And I have also learned that just like those flowers, the road of life can still twist and turn on me, yet I can still keep my heart facing towards exactly where I am supposed to be- keeping my faith focused on my source of strength.
“But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus–the work of telling others…about the wonderful grace of God” (Acts 20:24)
I am so happy to get back to my regular blogging routine and I am so thankful to everyone for their support during this time.
Is there a bend in the road of your life today? Would you like to surrender with me?
We may not be able to change our circumstances, but we can reach out with every petal of our hearts, and focus on the source of our strength and joy.
More encouragement: Joy from Challenges